Beautiful piece, Nan. Family is so universal in the feelings that they elicit, no matter how different families are, the stories have similarities and tensions that one can relate to in the deep places. From the beginning, you capture the reader with that ride from the airport. Perfect.
Thank you, Nick, my dear friend. It's all universal. The scripts, costumes, lighting and scenery are different, but our hearts and minds are the same. Basic needs. xoxo
Thx Nan for sharing about your family and traditions. Plus what fun you had with your Dad. You have such a beautiful way of helping your readers feel right there with you.💜
Nan, so many visceral memories came up for me. From sleeping with your elderly aunt, to your cigar chomping grandfather and his Cadillac to mischief making. Your writing pulls me in with the first line and carries me through to the end - with sensory images that ignite the imagination. Thanks for the share.
Hi Nan, thank you for this wondrous journey into a world I only know from the stories and novels of Lily Brett or the TV series about Mrs. Maisel, just the right neighborhood for your captivating story. So vivid, so sensual, I could see myself sitting at the big table and looking over to the left or right, alternately choosing more loyalty or more entertainment.
Thanks also for the pharmaceutical guide to surviving family gatherings. An absolute pleasure to read for yourself but also to listen to.
Thank you, Ina! I don't know which was the more important substance those nights. The Peeps, the Cadbury creme eggs or the Ativan! My family was a compilation of Jewish survivors and pursuers of the American Dream. They did their best, and they LOVED to eat! xoxo
Loved this, Nan! Xanax and Peeps is my new go-to combination for holiday stress. Minus the Peeps. I remember - how could I forget - sleeping with my ancient aunt in my bed. Yikes. This is full of life and memories. So much fun.❤️
He was awesome a lot of the time. But he was human, and was challenging as well. I've been writing about him a lot, for a memoir. We shared some pretty toxic behaviors, that I wasn't wholly aware of. Lots of codependence going in both directions. But, mostly, I miss him. A lot. Thanks for reading, Ally. xoxo
I loved all the five-senses details in this, and the way you teased us along with your mystery purchase. The final image of you and your dad giggling over Easter trayf—Peeps, yet!—is priceless. I tell my students that every story begins with the Passover question "Why is tonight different from all other nights?" and this is a stellar example.
Love that. That suggestion IS stellar! And yes, it was so trayf. My grandmother was funny, though. She absolutely made up her own rules regarding her own commitment to kashrut. Strictly kosher in her home, two sinks, two sets of dishes, and then two more for Pesach, everything covered in foil during the holiday to protect from chametz contamination, BUT, she LOVED shrimp, and as I recall, she drew the line when it came to the other white meat. She'd only eat shrimp out and loved Chinese food, and nobody said a word. God help you if there was a shrimp platter with cocktail sauce at a party, and you wanted some. I remember her taking us to McDonald's when we'd visit her in Florida. She'd tell us not to touch anything in the car after our meal, hands up like a surgeon prepped with gloves before entering the OR. And then we'd have to keep our hands up as we got out of the car, walked up the steps to their condo, where she'd open the door, yell at us not to touch anything and direct us to the bathroom for steaming hot handwashing. She'd intercept us at the door, run ahead to the bathroom, turn the tap on full blast, and spritz us with pumps of Dial soap...once clean, we were allowed to touch anything. Kind of killed the experience of a quarter pounder with cheese (NO CHEESE) and fries! I guess this is fodder for another story, huh?
Yes! It was an entirely visceral response. Looking back, I have some embarrassment about being young and superior, and not respecting her age or having enough compassion for the process we all go through as we age. I was clueless. BUT I will still maintain if presented with that as sleeping arrangement today, I'd still balk, and find another solution!
I'm glad you enjoyed! I'm playing with footnotes. I want it to be a place for me to be a little irreverent...when appropriate...or better when it's inappropriate! xoxo
Thanks, Nome! They were interesting, that's for sure! Working class, not terribly educated, but strivers, one and all. And grateful to be in America instead of the oppressive lives they came from. Family was very important, no matter how dysfunctional. My memory of that trip is so attached to my dad and our small rebellion. He was giddy over our misdeeds!
They are such a part of my past. I don't see them in my world as much now, but I wouldn't say no if offered one. I particularly like the red ones. Similar to my relationship with Chuckles, but with Chuckles, there's a licorice choice, too, which I really adore. Not eating much candy these days, but still enjoy seltzer (Jewish water) every day!
Your mention of dodging bed-sharing with your aunt reminded me of having to share a room with my Aunty Dorothy when I visited my grandparents when I was a child in the 1960s. She was single and lived with them as an adult. I slept on a camp bed. It was the era of foundation garments and I peeped out when I was supposed to be already asleep, to see her unlacing her very substantial corset. There was a chamber pot under her bed, as the toilet was in an outbuilding. I remember waking in the night to the sound of thunderous middle-of-the-night peeing!
Thanks, Allan! It was so much fun to take a deep dive into that memorable visit. I love thinking about my dad this way, when he was his most playful self. And then, of course, the food. The chopped liver, the matzo ball soup, tsimmes, brisket, the pre-passover matzo dread and the gefilte fish/horseradish––though I was born too late for the homemade version my grandmother made when my dad was a kid. She did the live fish in the bathtub thing! I'm glad you enjoyed.
I felt like I was in Nanny’s kitchen! (Minus the sexism of course) beautiful writing and also thanks for the footnotes for those of us unfamiliar with the ins and outs of Jewish tradition. :)
I kind of love doing the footnotes...another opportunity to be informative, and maybe a little snarky, too! It's funny, because I'm not historically a fan of them. And those are just some of the ins and outs...and I'm absolutely not an authority. My knowledge is more cultural, drawn from my own past and family, and not really religious.
Beautiful piece, Nan. Family is so universal in the feelings that they elicit, no matter how different families are, the stories have similarities and tensions that one can relate to in the deep places. From the beginning, you capture the reader with that ride from the airport. Perfect.
Thank you, Nick, my dear friend. It's all universal. The scripts, costumes, lighting and scenery are different, but our hearts and minds are the same. Basic needs. xoxo
You give the vulnerable and exposed truth, my friend. I love that.
xoxo!
Thx Nan for sharing about your family and traditions. Plus what fun you had with your Dad. You have such a beautiful way of helping your readers feel right there with you.💜
Thank you, Pamela. It makes me happy to hear you say that about inviting my readers in. That means I must be doing my job! xoxo
Nan, so many visceral memories came up for me. From sleeping with your elderly aunt, to your cigar chomping grandfather and his Cadillac to mischief making. Your writing pulls me in with the first line and carries me through to the end - with sensory images that ignite the imagination. Thanks for the share.
Thanks, Paulette! What a lovely thing to say. So happy you enjoyed reading it!
Hi Nan, thank you for this wondrous journey into a world I only know from the stories and novels of Lily Brett or the TV series about Mrs. Maisel, just the right neighborhood for your captivating story. So vivid, so sensual, I could see myself sitting at the big table and looking over to the left or right, alternately choosing more loyalty or more entertainment.
Thanks also for the pharmaceutical guide to surviving family gatherings. An absolute pleasure to read for yourself but also to listen to.
Ina
Thank you, Ina! I don't know which was the more important substance those nights. The Peeps, the Cadbury creme eggs or the Ativan! My family was a compilation of Jewish survivors and pursuers of the American Dream. They did their best, and they LOVED to eat! xoxo
Loved this, Nan! Xanax and Peeps is my new go-to combination for holiday stress. Minus the Peeps. I remember - how could I forget - sleeping with my ancient aunt in my bed. Yikes. This is full of life and memories. So much fun.❤️
Oh! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Big smile on my face right now! xoxo
Thank you, Ally. Great Aunt Paulie sends her love!
I loved this, Nan. Felt like I got to meet your family. And your dad seems pretty awesome.
He was awesome a lot of the time. But he was human, and was challenging as well. I've been writing about him a lot, for a memoir. We shared some pretty toxic behaviors, that I wasn't wholly aware of. Lots of codependence going in both directions. But, mostly, I miss him. A lot. Thanks for reading, Ally. xoxo
Well, I enjoyed meeting him. And Paulie. And you, then 🤍
I loved all the five-senses details in this, and the way you teased us along with your mystery purchase. The final image of you and your dad giggling over Easter trayf—Peeps, yet!—is priceless. I tell my students that every story begins with the Passover question "Why is tonight different from all other nights?" and this is a stellar example.
Love that. That suggestion IS stellar! And yes, it was so trayf. My grandmother was funny, though. She absolutely made up her own rules regarding her own commitment to kashrut. Strictly kosher in her home, two sinks, two sets of dishes, and then two more for Pesach, everything covered in foil during the holiday to protect from chametz contamination, BUT, she LOVED shrimp, and as I recall, she drew the line when it came to the other white meat. She'd only eat shrimp out and loved Chinese food, and nobody said a word. God help you if there was a shrimp platter with cocktail sauce at a party, and you wanted some. I remember her taking us to McDonald's when we'd visit her in Florida. She'd tell us not to touch anything in the car after our meal, hands up like a surgeon prepped with gloves before entering the OR. And then we'd have to keep our hands up as we got out of the car, walked up the steps to their condo, where she'd open the door, yell at us not to touch anything and direct us to the bathroom for steaming hot handwashing. She'd intercept us at the door, run ahead to the bathroom, turn the tap on full blast, and spritz us with pumps of Dial soap...once clean, we were allowed to touch anything. Kind of killed the experience of a quarter pounder with cheese (NO CHEESE) and fries! I guess this is fodder for another story, huh?
Omg! What a drama. Definitely another story for us. Wow.
I'm working on it!
Yes please!
I felt your mentioned worry about bed sharing in the depths of my soul! :D
Yes! It was an entirely visceral response. Looking back, I have some embarrassment about being young and superior, and not respecting her age or having enough compassion for the process we all go through as we age. I was clueless. BUT I will still maintain if presented with that as sleeping arrangement today, I'd still balk, and find another solution!
Exquisite, I felt like I was there in a tradition not my own yet familiar in many ways. The footnotes are the best!
I'm glad you enjoyed! I'm playing with footnotes. I want it to be a place for me to be a little irreverent...when appropriate...or better when it's inappropriate! xoxo
Accomplished.
Yay!
Oh, Nan! I've just returned from that Seder in North Miami Beach! Thank you for transporting me there. What a grand experience!!
It was fun...and always at least a little weird! xoxo
So nice to get to meet the "other side" of your family!
Thanks, Nome! They were interesting, that's for sure! Working class, not terribly educated, but strivers, one and all. And grateful to be in America instead of the oppressive lives they came from. Family was very important, no matter how dysfunctional. My memory of that trip is so attached to my dad and our small rebellion. He was giddy over our misdeeds!
Those jelly fruits! Still buy them every year
They are such a part of my past. I don't see them in my world as much now, but I wouldn't say no if offered one. I particularly like the red ones. Similar to my relationship with Chuckles, but with Chuckles, there's a licorice choice, too, which I really adore. Not eating much candy these days, but still enjoy seltzer (Jewish water) every day!
Wonderful. Felt like I was there with you, Nan!
Your mention of dodging bed-sharing with your aunt reminded me of having to share a room with my Aunty Dorothy when I visited my grandparents when I was a child in the 1960s. She was single and lived with them as an adult. I slept on a camp bed. It was the era of foundation garments and I peeped out when I was supposed to be already asleep, to see her unlacing her very substantial corset. There was a chamber pot under her bed, as the toilet was in an outbuilding. I remember waking in the night to the sound of thunderous middle-of-the-night peeing!
OMG. That's hilarious, and mildly disturbing! The stories we could tell (and are telling). An outhouse? Yikes. A chamberpot? Even yikes-ier! xoxo
Nan, we come from the same tribe, the same clan. My grandma called them "aproms." A great essay that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Thanks, Allan! It was so much fun to take a deep dive into that memorable visit. I love thinking about my dad this way, when he was his most playful self. And then, of course, the food. The chopped liver, the matzo ball soup, tsimmes, brisket, the pre-passover matzo dread and the gefilte fish/horseradish––though I was born too late for the homemade version my grandmother made when my dad was a kid. She did the live fish in the bathtub thing! I'm glad you enjoyed.
I felt like I was in Nanny’s kitchen! (Minus the sexism of course) beautiful writing and also thanks for the footnotes for those of us unfamiliar with the ins and outs of Jewish tradition. :)
I kind of love doing the footnotes...another opportunity to be informative, and maybe a little snarky, too! It's funny, because I'm not historically a fan of them. And those are just some of the ins and outs...and I'm absolutely not an authority. My knowledge is more cultural, drawn from my own past and family, and not really religious.